Glitch in the System
by PsychoDirector
Summary: Of all the Pokemon in the world, perhaps none is more shouded in mystery than Missingno. How did he come to be? What is his purpose? Are there more? The story, my friends, is perhaps even stranger still. It all started with a boy named Alex...
1. Carry On, Wayward Glitch

_**Author's Note: ...So I'm feeling a might nostalgic. Pulling off glitches on Pokemon Blue was a staple of my early childhood, and many a good day was spent on the wrong side of gameplay. However, now that I am older and more experienced (and can accent my writing with halfway decent illustrations when I'm not bogged down with homework), I figure, what better way to pay homage to those good times than writing fanfiction?**_

**_The answer, my friends, is that there is no better way. Ever. Well, I could have drawn up a comic, or been exceedingly fancy and made a Flash animation, but I have limited reserves of effort and don't know how to animate. So now I bring you this, the first Pokemon fanfic I've written in years and the only one I've liked enough to publish online. Sure, it's a little cheesy compared to some of my other fanfics, but I was trying to keep with the style of the Pokemon atmosphere, as I'd assume that's why you're here. However, worry not. I didn't give myself the name PSYCHO so I could write about friendship power and flowers. This fic WILL have blood, it WILL have the occasional perverted joke, it WILL have dark humor, and it WILL have people trying to keel each other. It's just considerably toned down from my usual forte for the convenience of our younger audiances (though why they're reading the notoriously mature fanfics on here is beyond me...). Also, for future reference, all Author's Notes will avoid any and all use of umlouts or other similar symbols to avoid sifting through the Alt+numbers combinations. Seriously, it's a pain._**

**_ANYWAY, you've waited long enough. Let's get on with it!_**

**_-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --_**

_Splash. Scrape. Splash. Scrape._

With exhausted strokes of its trembling arms, a Vaporeon pulled its battered self along the beach of Cinnabar Island. The sun was just starting to sink in the sky along the east coast, rippling as it fell and putting the sand into a fire-colored tint. Were it not currently fighting for its life, the Vaporeon would have very well stopped to admire the picturesque scene. For now, though, all it could do was dig its scraped paws into the burning sand in a sad attempt to flee, its visage not more than a sihouette in the fading light.

"_Kill… kill… kill…_" The Vaporeon had to shudder at the consistent, repetitive mantra, which rose up from the water in hisses and bubbles and roars. Every Pokémon that normally resided there, it realized, had taken up the chant. All of them wanted this thing, this creature, this _glitch_ out of their home. It had held them in fear for so long, but now they could sense it was weak. All this time, they had been terrified of such a low-level Pokémon! All it took were a few liberal uses of a Water Gun, and the thing was disintegrating before their eyes. Hilarious.

_Rolling would be faster_, the Vaporeon-that-wasn't-actually-a-Vaporeon considered. A shadow passed over it, and soon an Electrode was riding down the coast, its round physique casting off static squares steadily into the sky as it gathered speed. These hovered for a second before shimmering out of existence, acting as a sparkling tail behind the transforming glitch… or as a beacon to the murderous aquatic Pokémon.

"_Do not stop_!" The Electrode heard the roaring command of a Gyrados proclaim. "_Kill it before it gets the humans! It is too dangerous to be kept! Destroy it now_!" The Electrode squealed, a sound like electric feedback, as a powerful jet of water shot past, inches from its body. It didn't have much time. The Pokémon had an unwritten pact not to enter a human settling unless they were 'caught', so it knew if it made it to the town, it'd be safe.

If.

"_Please, stop_!" it tried to beg, using the universally-understood language of the Electrode. "_I haven't harmed any of you_!" The only response was a furious Bubble Beam, which the Electrode managed to barely roll away from.

"_It lies! Destroy it_!" The mantra started up again, and the Electrode glanced towards the town. It was still so far away, so impossibly far… It'd never make it. Not now. Not just by rolling, with dozens of killer Pokémon on its tail. It needed a plan. And it just might have one.

Quickly, the Electrode swung around to face the homicidal crowd. It was met with the hate-filled eyes of every water Pokémon from Squirtle to Dragonite, and the dopey stares of a handful of Magikarp as well. It ignored them, though, instead choosing to rapidly reach out and thumb through their data.

Water Guns, Bubble Beams, Hydro Pumps, Bubbles, Scratches, Tackles, Splashes… come on, come _on_… The Electrode noticed that the Pokémon, convinced it was surrendering, had temporarily halted their assault. That was excellent; it was losing data at a rapid rate, and doubted it could fight even a Psyduck off. It persisted in its rapid search, violating the army without them even being aware of it.

"_At last you see reason. You cannot hope to fight us all, weak little glitch,_" that same old Gyrados gloated, sounding and looking majestic and powerful even though the Electrode's analysis revealed that he was only level 22. "_For this, I shall relieve you of your existence with mercy._" His mouth began to glow. He was about to use a Hyper Beam, and the Electrode, desperate, attempted to stall for time, still searching through battle moves as it did.

"_Alright, okay,_" it began, trying its hardest not to sound distracted or impatient. Why were there so many Pokémon who knew Bubble? Where was the one it was looking for? "_Just please, don't let it hurt, oh great and powerful creature of the sea. You could snuff me like a candle easily, and I'm so tired of suffering._" The Gyrados laughed, its ego inflating like a bicycle tire and the charge vanishing. The Electrode was holding the pump, and its only hope was to pump it until the tire grew so large he couldn't see past it. The Gyrados was enjoying being praised, and wanted the pampering to keep pouring in as strongly as the Electrode wanted to GTFO, plzkthxbai.

"_I should make it so. I should put you in agony for what turmoil you've caused us._" The Gyrados was enjoying this exploitation of power. For all the strangeness of the situation, he was exactly like a bully picking on a scrawny bookworm to impress his friends. The Electrode felt nauseous, but kept on.

"_Oh, no! Can't you allow me that much? I am so small and defenseless, no more than a baby, and you're so large and powerful, after all. Even a glitch is too mundane for you, mighty Gyrados. What point is there in putting someone in pain when you could just as easily snap them in half and move on to a challenge? It would provide no satisfaction. I would break too easily._" Ouch. The words sounded fake even as it spoke them, the electric surges too high-pitched and the static intermissions stretching on far too long, but the Electrode hoped the Gyrados would be too happy at what they said to notice.

Bubble, Bubble, Bubble, Water Gun, Bubble… Ah-ha! The Electrode swiped the data, rewriting it into its own cluster of DNA with a practiced air. The move was Substitute, PP 9/10, stolen from an unaware Kingdra. If it timed this just right…

"_True, true…_" the Gyrados purred, his tail flicking in the water with pleasure and sending more than a few small water types flying. The Electrode felt the ground rumble ever so slightly under it, and it allotted a quick scan of the Gyrados. Sure enough, one of the Power Points for the creature's Whirlpool attack was missing. He was planning to send the water surging up at the last minute, trapping the Electrode in the spiral and tearing its last bits of data into irreparable pieces. Were it not in a critical situation, the Electrode would have frowned at the trick move.

"_Quickly, before I lose my nerve and try to run again,_" The Electrode bargained. It felt something deep inside whatever passed for a mind among Electrode, like a cross between a tingle and a surge. Something inside was fighting to come out, and the Electrode itched to release it. The energy pushed against its mind, straining, but the Electrode held. It would be difficult—pulling off two moves at once? No Pokémon could ever do such a thing!

On the other hand, the Electrode was no Pokémon.

Then it was happening. Water burst forth from the sand in a swirling geyser, spinning around like some form of mutated tornado and tearing apart something red and white left in the center. One second there was a ball, lying in the sand like a beached treasure; the next, a spray of pieces. The Whirlpool finely ground its contents. A blender couldn't have done a better job.

Ten seconds later the torrent stilled, and water fell back to the earth in great sheets. The Pokémon were doused, and the newly created dust swirled around in the leftover current in lazy circles. Whatever had been in there hadn't been killed; it had been _disintegrated_. The Pokémon stared at the wreckage, feeling something akin to relief towards the quite-obviously-dead remains. The thing in the whirlpool was very much gone.

Still, despite that, it wasn't long before a small Goldeen found something draped against a nearby rock. It was a remnant, bigger than the rest, and laid out to dry like a bit of laundry. Interested, the Goldeen muttered something to the Wartortle wading next to it, who proceeded to splash up onto shore and retrieve the bit. A long silence passed as the turtle type attempted to hand back the scrap, but the Gyrados lunged down to peer at the piece before it got close. His beady eyes analyzed it curiously, his snout inhaled its waterlogged scent, and, finally, he sat up and muttered in disbelief.

"_Cloth_," he realized, eyes wide and gears churning in his head. Then it clicked, and the mutter turned into an enraged roar, which tore across the sky and sent the water rippling.

"_**CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTH**_!!"

Far above the party, safe from any more attacks, a Pigeot looked downwards in wonder, and relief.

_And to think_, it mused as it beat its static dripping wings and took off towards the next closest landmark, _that could have been me._

**_-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --_**

As any true Pokéfan can tell you, the town closest to Cinnabar Island, as the Murkrow flies, would be Pallet Town. It is also the only one without a Pokémon Center, by a crucial design flaw by a world-famous architect who quietly committed suicide after realizing this terrible, terrible mistake.

Missingno was feeling much the same way as that architect had for much the same reason when he stumbled across the small area, clutching his data bleeding wing and letting his eyes bulge in shock. For all that work he had put into his escape, for pulling off the first ever successful use of two moves at once, he had ended up in the one town with nothing but three houses and a lab, far too tired to fly on. He jumped forward numbly, still in his Pidgeot form, and scanned the place for not the first time.

_There are no Pokémon Centers_, he realized with horror. _Not even a hospital or a mart. What, do these people just crawl into a tar pit to die when they get a cold? …No, wait, there isn't a tar pit, either. _He coughed dizzily, choking out a sarcastic bark of a laugh somewhere inside it. It was just like him to have a bit of a dark joke in the face of trouble.

Missingno flutter-stepped towards the wall of the lab, his figure flickering between a Pidgeot and some form of static mass with each movement. He couldn't hold this form for much longer—not with his HP as low as it was. Soon he'd turn back into his old, blocky self, and soon after that he'd be chased off with pitchforks to silently die at sea. And all because Pallet town couldn't be bothered with heath care. Ha.

Well, there was another way, he supposed. The first few days he'd been… well, _him_… he'd spent most of his time in another form. An unnatural amount of time, really, for what was just another of his many masks. He'd been so desperate to retain his humanity, to not become just another creature to be caught and traded off by children, that he'd pretended to be just like them. It had come so naturally, almost as much as his static, natural form, that he'd found he could stay in that skin for days on end. It wasn't a power, and it didn't seem to require PP—it was just a thing. Plus, being disguised as a human proved useful in preventing eager treasure-hunters from flinging Pokéballs at him all day, and his scars and marks that he could never seem to fully rid himself of could be explained away as… well… scars and marks.

The choice had already been decided as soon as it had been thought of. Missingno closed his eyes and sighed weakly, feeling the tingling feeling spread over his bird-like form as he used his last transformation to disguise himself as a strange-looking human.

It was different from turning into a Pokémon—in fact, it was apples and oranges to Pokémon. All of those critters looked mostly the same within their species, with exceptions towards size and shinies. Humans, however, were different, every one, and his mind was naturally drawn to its own, specific form, rather than crudely imagined hair and eyes. As he drew power from his core, his being lighting up with a pure white glow, he was vaguely aware of dirty blonde hair falling naturally over one eye, and a short trim blossoming from a developing skull. Oddly, and for reasons he could never explain but was eternally grateful for, even a set of casual clothes came with the transformation. He gained a pastel blue and grey hoodie, deep navy jeans, purple sneakers, and a studded lavender belt. For all the world, he looked like an ordinary—if not rather odd—human, if one chose to ignore the slight polygonal points in his ears and a strange pattern of small triangles crossing the bridge of his nose.

That done, and now feeling strangely better, Missingno looked down upon his human form, expecting a normal body to smile back. Instead, however, he got a quick reminder of how much data he had lost—he appeared to be missing an arm. Moreover, the stump seemed to be bleeding static. Combined with his odd ears and tattoos, and only a half-blind codger would confuse him for normal. Missingno swallowed nervously, his mind racing towards how to cover that up so no one would notice his oddity until he had rested up… He brushed some hair messily over the tips of his ears, and that covered that, but that bleeding stump… He couldn't concentrate… He was losing too much data, too fast… Who was he, again?

Oh, someone was coming. This someone was barely more than a fuzzy blur of white and grey to the weak glitch, but was also quite obviously a person. They walked casually up the path to the lab, coming from the right, opposite of the edge Missingno was closest to. They were whistling and digging through their pockets for something as they walked. A few seconds passed, then they pulled out something small and fuzzy—a key?—and held it forward like a tiny dagger. Missingno estimated he had maybe two seconds until they turned the corner and saw him, and took the opportunity to groan pitifully, hand clawing feebly for an arm that was no longer there. The person froze, surprised, then turned their—no, his—head towards Missingno, surprised but not horrified—yet.

"P-please…" Missingno moaned, his tongue stuttering over the word as he forced himself to squeeze something intelligible through the new and painful vocal cords. The pressure proved too much for him, however, and he shivered violently and clenched his eyes shut. He was just barely aware of a human hand reaching up to grip his shoulder, and then he was out cold for what he prayed would not be the last time.

**_-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --_**

_The room was large and extravagant, its Victorian appearance furthered by the many bookshelves and wooden furniture that took it up. At one corner stood an ebony desk, its classy structure marred by the mounds of paperwork and devices upon its surface. Still more papers and things were scattered on the ground, stacked haphazardly in shelves, and crumpled and thrown in a vast accumulation of waste baskets. In fact, almost all of them were currently in or near of those, their writings messy and heavy with desperate frustration._

_Despite this, though, there was still enough area clear for five-year-old Alexander Parker to set up his favorite coloring book, a monstrous thing almost as tall as he was, and go to town. Voices were bleeding out from the door that his father always kept locked, scary voices that gave him a fluttering feeling in his stomach, but he just scraped his crayon along harder and ignored them. _

"_We haven't heard from you in two months," one voice said. It was clipped and cold, like someone who was forced to do something unpleasant and was being as difficult as possible because of it. Alex knew the feeling; he did as much every time his mom told him to take a bath._

"_I know, I'm working on it," Alex's dad replied, his voice gruff and forced. He didn't seem to be having fun, either. Something made a slamming noise on the other side of the door, and Alex quickly flipped a page of the book. A pair of Raichu smiled up at him, long tails entwined, and Alex managed to smile. Raichu was his favorite Pokémon._

"_Dr. Parker, we're paying you for results. If you continue to give us nothing, we're going to have to freeze your account," the first voice reminded. There was a squeak; Daddy had pushed his chair back._

"_You don't understand. I'm at the edge of a breakthrough, I know it!" he proclaimed. Alex felt like cheering. Daddy would show these guys. He didn't take orders from anyone! _

"_We figured as much. That's why we let this little… incident… slide for the past two months. We went without your weekly reports and E-mails, because you're one of our most important assets. However, we will not keep paying you for nothing forever." Alex's smile faded. He knew enough to get the gist of that statement—Daddy hadn't been turning in his work, and they were going to fire him. He was scared for this, but also jealous. If he stopped going to kindergarten for two _weeks_, he'd be expelled and Daddy would beat him black and blue. _

"_It's not as easy as that," Daddy muttered. "The project is impossible. There's simply no way to create a Pokémon digitally. It requires too much a computer cannot provide—DNA, physical parts, a mind…"_

"_We're too close to stop just because of beliefs. We've already managed to create a robotic host, and portions of the mind. All we need is your research to give it a personality; to give it life." _

"_And I'm telling you it can't be done! There are some parts of a living creature that can't be transferred into ones and zeroes. No matter how hard I—we—try, all we have is a machine! It can't adopt to atmospheres that aren't pre-set into its circuitry; it can't think for itself. It can still only do what we command of it."_

"_That's not my department. You're the one we hired. You're the one who said you can find a way around that bug." _

"_I was wrong! No computer can perfectly replicate life, now or ever. We have to abort the project."_

"_We can't do that. Porygon's data has already been programmed into the Pokédex and Bill's latest version of PC. We have a scheduled launch date, meetings, and two of the four beta trainers have already filed for a preorder clone. If you had said as much even a month earlier, we could possibly provide a substitute or at least an excuse… I'm sorry, Dr. Parker, but you need to either create a living Pokémon or a convincing fake." Alex shivered. Were these guys really thinking of deceiving all of those unsuspecting trainers with a fake Pokémon? Were they really gonna fire Daddy because he couldn't do the impossible? What a bunch of bullies! What a bunch of selfish, greedy, horrible bullies!_

_The crayon snapped in half. Alex's fist had been gripping it far too tightly. The sudden silence that descended as he stared in wonder at the broken wax was just enough for him to make out a mutter from beyond the door. Curious, he abandoned his coloring book to shuffle over closer and listen. The words send a shiver down his spine._

"_There is another way…" a third voice spoke up, almost identical in tone to the first stranger's. Alex held his breath._

"_What? I'll do anything," his father replied. Alex shook his head, silently trying to warn him. What if they made him do something gross, like eat worms or kiss a girl with cooties? Still, if it kept Daddy with a job… _

"_It's a simple alchemic rule, isn't it?" the third voice continued. "To get one thing, you have to sacrifice something else."_

"_So I just have to catch you a Pokémon? Fine. If a bunch of ten-year-old test subjects can do it, then so can I. Just lend me a Pokéball or two and—" his voice died off. Someone must have signaled at him to stop talking. Alex felt a fluttery feeling build up in his stomach, but he didn't know why._

"_No. A Pokémon's mind is too simple to use. The input of information from a foreign host would cause it to collapse on itself, rendering the creation completely catatonic, if not dead from a hemorrhagic stroke due to the increase in blood pressure and penetration of the cerebral veins. Not to mention those that did survive would adapt dual personalities and would fight with itself for domination until the losing side—the natural Pokémon—forced itself into suicide. We need a subject that's complex enough to handle the invading, robotic adaptations and symbiotically adapt to it, but strong enough to erase the alternate personality without killing itself in the process." There was a long pause. Daddy seemed to be considering, while Alex struggled to translate the paragraph. He caught some parts about death—suicide!—and understood that they couldn't use a Pokémon to make a Pokémon for whatever reason… but then what? Was this really a doomed project? What was the other way?_

"_What are you saying?" Daddy mumbled, his voice low. He already knew what was going on. Intrigued, Alex tuned in, but wished he hadn't. The next words made his blood run cold._

"_Dr. Parker, in order to complete the Porygon project, we need a human host." Something slammed again. Alex sighed in relief. Daddy was angry; he'd teach these bullies a lesson._

"_What!? Trading a human life for some sort of robotic human-Pokémon half-breed?! We're scientists, gentlemen, not some team of moral-free gene splicers! I refuse to find anyone to subject to your Frankenstein experiments! I graduated valedictorian from the Minnesota Institute of Technology, and have a background in the country's topmost projects; I can find another job. You take your God-playing somewhere else, and only come back when you start to truly value human life."_

"_Dr. Parker, please! We're not killing anyone, merely changing them. And it's not just for one Pokémon—it's for an entire species! With only one male Porygon, we can clone it, splicing the copies to create male and female versions and alter them, and breed those with Ditto… soon we'll have a whole race! Think of it!"_

"_I already did. My answer is no." One again, there was silence. It stretched on and on, coating the room and smothering its occupants like a thick, woolly blanket. Alex wrapped his pudgy arms around himself, shivering quietly just outside the door. He was scared. These guys weren't afraid to… he could barely think the word… _kill _other people. What if Daddy got them really, really angry, and they…? Or worse, what if they came after Alex himself, and turned him into some creepy Pokémon? He didn't want to be caught by those test trainers. He didn't want to fight other Pokémon. And he most certainly did _not_ want to 'breed' with some icky Ditto! Being merely five, Alex had yet to shed himself of childish selfishness, but he didn't want his father to… die… either. He felt tears pricking at his eyes, but all he could do was lean against the wall and pray Daddy could use his super-smart brain to take care of these guys._

"…_We were afraid of that," one of the bad voices spoke at last. A sound; he had set down a piece of paper. "You remember the details of our contract, surely, Dr. Parker?" Daddy's voice was barely above a whisper, and even Alex could tell it was afraid. Deathly afraid._

"_No," he whispered, desperate. "Please, not them." The voice coughed, then began to read in a voice even colder and more authoritative._

"'_The company has thus put its trust whole heartedly in the capabilities and loyalty of the below signed. In return for our numerous benefits to the below signed, he/she does solemnly swear that, in the case of an intentional information leak, critical lack of results, or other hindrance of the project, the company reserves the right to confiscate any and all of the subject's legal belongings and/or research to ensure the success of the project.' And, according to sub-passage A-12, close family is to be considered 'legal belonging' to the patriarch, to be removed from him if their services are requested. All quite legal, you understand." Alex frowned, slowly working the paragraph through his mind. Solemnly? Intentional? Why did they always have to use such big words? Then his father was speaking, and his voice was miserable and defeated._

"_You can't do this," he growled. "My wife has had a brain hemorrhage in the past. Her mind's too sensitive for your machine. And Alex is just a child, for God's sake!" Alex's head snapped up, instantly alert. He was involved!?_

"_Good," one of the spooky voices replied. "A young mind is ideal. It's more adaptive to foreign implants—it can grow around them. I apologize sincerely, Dr. Parker, but perhaps you and your wife can have another child. This meeting is adjourned. Your services are no longer acquired."_

"_No! NO! You can't take my son, goddamn it! _Leave my son out of this_!" But the door was already opened, and Alex, frozen in fear, could only stare blankly at the pale, smiling face peering down at him and the hand reaching casually for his own…_

**_-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --_**

**_To be contined!_**

**_Just so you know, every time someone reads this fanfic and doesn't leave a review, a puppy gets kicked in the face. With cleats. Please, think of the cleats._**


	2. Unforseen Conditions

**_Okay, two things for ya'll, here. The first is that I must apologize--I tried, but, in my humble writer's opinion, this chapter sucks. I always get ridiculously awkward on introducing major characters in the story, and Missingno's personality differs incredibly from what I finally chose to go with. I edited this A LOT, but I'm afraid it's just not up to par with what I can do. So, here's hoping that once everyone gets introduced and the plot can move on, things will clear up and improve._**

**_Back in good news land, though, everybody check out this sweet art towards Missingno's human form! shadow-warrior-nami DOT deviantart DOT com / art / Nico-Nico-Douga-Medley-116271446 Ha, betchu' all didn't know I was an artist, too, eh? EH?_**

**_Pah with you, then. FIC AWAY! (Also, a quick note: the timeline for this fic is sometime after Yellow Version, but before Gold and Silver. So the glitches are still rampant, if a bit better disguised, the Safari Zone is still open, and Cinnabar hasn't died in a volcano fire as of yet.)_**

**_-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --_**

Years of practice had taught Missingno how to wake up perfectly silently, and how to keep his breathing at an even and steady flow to avoid arousing attention. He could fake being asleep for hours on end, acting perfectly loose and malleable even with a good half his data gone or damaged, until the right time came to burst into action and dive towards the nearest escape route or computer he could scrounge data from. He picked up tricks of this sort easily, and had used them on more than one occasion to save his life.

However, years of nightmares accompanied with the fear of being found out always resulted in the same—a quick jerk forward into wakefulness, accompanied with a sharp gasp and sweating bullets, eyes wide and darting around for potential danger. It was a stupid and useless habit, but Missingno did as much anyway, this time twice as harshly as he realized he actually was in a lab. More precisely, he was on a white cot in a white room, with rows of bookshelves in front of and behind him, decked with textbooks and Pokéballs, respectively, and a wall to his left. To his right, however, lay a green table decked with still more Pokéballs (but no chairs), and beyond that a computer set on a desk, a wastebasket, two Pokédexes, and a wall of framed certificates of general awesomeness. To the south lay a large gap between the shelves, from which two more desks (with chairs) could be seen.

In front of Missingno, smiling nervously, was a bespectacled doctor with messy black hair and a white lab coat. He was holding a clipboard in one hand, and a pair of tweezers pinching a tiny piece of square static—_Missingno's_ static—in the other. He didn't move, looking guilty.

Missingno regarded this new person with eyes still wide due to nightmare residue, then glanced down curiously towards his arm. It had done wonders for patching itself—it was already nearly halfway up his wrist with perfect skin, and half his hand with static 'muscle'. Still, he knew regeneration of the fingers, being small bits with delicate motor functions, would take the longest. He didn't have time for that, and if the only defense here was a scrawny scientist…

"Good evening," he smiled cordially upwards, as if waking up in a lab with a half-regenerated hand and pointy ears was an everyday thing. For the record, it was normally monthly. A lot like PMS.

The scientist waved hesitantly, his skin slick with sweat. He had to admit, he'd been taken by surprise when the boy had woken up, but he seemed polite enough, really.

"H-hello, my name is—" He never got a chance to finish. With an eager swipe, Missingno made contact against his shoulder with his good hand, sending the poor scientist sprawling across the floor. The scientist hit hard, letting out a surprised cry, but Missingno merely sprang over him and sprinted to the computer desk. From it, he fished out the little object he had spied glinting merrily from behind the tower—a Hyper Potion. Missingno smiled, casually altering his data to extend the pointer finger of his right hand into a wicked claw, then flicked it so that it sliced off the top of the container and exposed a cache of dark, shining liquid. This he held up level with his chin, like a wine glass, as he turned to smile degradingly at the slowly recovering scientist.

"You were extraordinarily lucky, sir," he confided in the same tone one would use to describe the weather. "However, your approach was disappointingly off. No sleeping gas, no restraints, not even a gram of dopamine to prevent that pesky thought process I have. It's like you don't even know who I am! I'd blow this place up right now—"

"Ah, wait!" the scientist begged, eyes wide and hand outstretched at the thought of the lab going up in flames.

"—But, fortunately for you, I've had a trying day just getting here. So you lose, good day, sir, see you on the flipside after you've studied up on modern folklore. Oh, and I owe you a Hyper Potion." And with that, Missingno downed the contents of the bottle in one fell swoop, eyes flaring blue and damaged arm literally _bursting_ into curedom as the potion hit his messed-up system. The energy burned in his stomach, screaming to be let out, but Missingno held it back. He could use it later, when he got to Viridian—

--And then the door opened, and Missingno froze. The potion fell from his hand to the floor with a clatter, but it went forgotten.

"…So you see, Professor, we only need to raise a very small amount of money for the trip, and it would benefit us enormously…"

"Er, yes, define 'small amount'."

"…Ah, two hundred thousand yen…?" Two people came into the room. One was an old man, with a crop of white hair and a weathered but friendly tan face. He wore a light white lab coat and brown slacks, and he was smiling politely at a girl about the same age as Missingno's human form would be (thirteen to fourteen).

The girl had an odd appearance, with short brown hair and bright green eyes. She wore a lime green shirt and dark green blazer, with black gloves and slacks. Slung about her neck were a pair of silver goggles, and below her shirt was another, much longer green one, which billowed out from her waist like a skirt. Suffice to say, her outfit fit the odd trends of this region as well as Missingno's did, if not better.

And then she looked up, and for a second the two caught eyes, green meeting blue, and Missingno was distracted abruptly from his natural studies. The two stared at each other, and the scientists stared at their own match, only with mingled expression of surprise and horror opposed to the two kid's looks of stunned analysis.

"…Hi," Missingno finally spoke, hoping his voice came off calmer than he felt. The girl smiled civilly, her hands tight around the three ring binder she held.

"Hello," she replied, sounding much more comfortable than Missingno did. Curious, he prodded into this new girl's data, hunting for some knowledge.

Her name was Holly. She was thirteen years old and an exchange student from Jhoto, with an extensive IQ and a passion for archeology and ancient legends. Her parents were staying at Saffron City while she visited Professor Oak to ask him a few (or many) questions about Mew and Mewtwo. She liked chocolate ice cream and sunsets, and her favorite Pokémon was Ho-oh. She was also currently single, and had a passionate fetish for—

Missingno decided it would be a good idea to stop the data search right there. He backed off sheepishly, leaving Holly unaware that she had been probed at all, fortunately enough. As soon as he did, the professor stepped up to him, forcibly casual. His heels clicked tightly against the tile floor, and his lips were tight to prevent him bursting out the usual question—just what the hell _was _he? Missingno braced himself, ready to clear the way with a Water Gun and bolt if things started getting suspicious… But nothing happened. The professor merely smiled, and Missingno, confused, sank back into a more relaxed pose.

"Ah, I see you've recovered nicely," he noted. Missingno paused, then nodded slightly. It was one thing for a glitch to act casual in odd situations—it was practically part of the criteria. It was quite another for a normal human to act natural in the face of something he knew perfectly well was messed up. Then again, perhaps this guy was insane. You never really knew.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks…?" Missingno replied dumbly. The original scientist, meanwhile, just stared in surprise between the two, unsure of what to say.

"Um, professor, you do realize that that's a…" The professor raised a single hand, and the scientist's voice died off. At first Missingno didn't get it, but then he caught a glimpse of the girl staring vapidly at the group, patiently waiting for them to be done with their conversation. Ah. Best not to startle the public. With that out of the way, the professor held out a hand, and Missingno hesitantly took it. Hmm, human hands were quite warm. He'd never noticed.

"We never got a chance to properly introduce ourselves, I'm afraid. My name is Professor Oak. Over there is my assistant, Dr. Stein, and this is… ah…"

"Holly, sir!" Holly chirped, staring up at Professor Oak with shining eyes. The professor smiled and nodded, and Missingno forced himself to put on a nervous grin himself. How had he gotten himself mixed in with this odd lot, again? Well, maybe if he just concentrated and didn't do anything inconspicuous, he could get out of here without raising eyebrows. It would be just his luck for some more humans, a notoriously un-superstitious and hard to intimidate lot, to find out about his… condition… before he got a chance to GTFO.

"Oh, hi," Missingno greeted, his mind struggling to place the name of the Professor. Oak… He knew that name… Wait, was this that same Oak he'd heard about, the one that gave away starters to beginning Trainers in Pallet town? Missingno shivered at the thought, then released Professor Oak's hand at last and clapped his own together, forcing himself to continue to look pleasant. "Well, I see you've got a lot of debating to get through, so I'll just be on my way, then. Later, all."

"Hmm? But you just got here!" Oak objected cordially. Missingno was already at the door.

"Yep!" he replied. "And now I'm just leaving. Bye."

"But—" Missingno shut the door with a heavy click, then leaned against it, sighing. Why were humans so… odd? Still, he had to admit, that could have been a lot worse. He silently thanked Holly for providing a necessary distraction for Dr. Stein, then smiled. He'd been kicked out of his home, rendered shy one arm for a while, got found out by two of the stranger breed of scientists, and now had nowhere to stay and no direction. On the other hand, it was a beautiful day (day?), he was at full health and then some, and there were possibilities everywhere. The air tasted of promises, the sky hung hugely above, and he had the oddest feeling he wasn't the first to become enthused and ready for adventure in this sleepy little town. Something in the air, perhaps? In any case, Missingno felt healthy and eager for whatever lay ahead—

"Hi there!"

"_AAHH_!" Missingno jumped, startled, then spun around to spot none other than Holly standing behind him, grinning broadly at his reaction. Her hands were clasped behind her back, and the binder she had been holding was stashed, most likely, into her backpack. Missingno blinked, eyes wide, then immediately made to pat his hair down so the tips of his ears didn't poke out. They didn't, fortunately enough. Still…

"…You're following me," Missingno observed bluntly. Holly just laughed a little at this, rubbing the back of her head and blushing a bit as she did.

"Well, yeah… Sorry, it's just… I'm an archeologist—unofficially, mind, but I'm working for it—and that makes me a logical type by default, and I just wanted to ask you… You're a trainer, right?" Missingno blinked. One side of his mind assured him that this was a logical assumption to make; why else would he be wandering around by himself in a little place like Pallet Town, talking to a Professor with a lab full of Pokéballs? And the majority of people his age were or had been trainers, anyway. The other side wanted to punch something at the mere mention of him being nothing more than an egotistical child who loved nothing more than running around the world, capturing innocent Pokémon and forcing them to fight each other to bloody pulps for his amusement. He'd had enough cases of greedy kids siccing their pets on him and blasting away chucks of his data just so they could have their precious, ultra-rare glitch. Trainers were nothing more than overeager brats, the lot of them.

Still, Holly implied nothing mean, so Missingno held his temper in check and muttered an answer.

"No." Holly was crestfallen.

"O-oh. Okay. I just figured…"

_Missingno didn't even have time to turn around before he felt something round and hard slam into his back. He squealed static, struggling to dive into the water before the little ball opened… but it was too late. He was enveloped in a pinkish light, and the next thing he knew he was trapped in a small, dark, claustrophobic space, cold metal pressing against his body… The walls seemed to close in, constricting his chest, he couldn't _breathe_… He slammed his static fists against the round structure, screaming electric nonsense that translated into desperate pleas to get out… No, NO, he didn't want to be captured, he didn't want to fight… He slammed a shoulder against the wall, and through the reverberating metal casing and the pounding of blood in his ears, he could just hear a childish voice scoff in victory._

"_Hah! Wait 'til Jeff sees the cool Pokémon I caught!" And then, with a click, Missingno broke through the tiny prison, collapsing to his knees as he once again took solid shape…_

"…And so I thought it would work out better for both of us," Holly finished quickly. Missingno blinked, then shook his head furiously, snapping out of the memory.

"Huh? What?" he asked. Holly stared at him, and he made a speedy amendment. "Oh, sorry, I was a little distracted."

"Oh! Well, I was just thinking that, if you were a trainer, um, I really need to get to Vermillion city to catch a ferry back to Jhoto… I mean, I have Pokémon, but they're not as strong as the ones here, and it was hard enough getting to Pallet…"

"So you need someone to assist you in getting to Vermillion."

"Essentially, but it's okay. I can train up my Cindoquail, I'll be alright…" Missingno bit his lip, a nervous habit. Agreeing to this was nothing short of insane. If he let a human tag along with him, he'd have to keep his little secret for a lot longer than was planned. He wouldn't be able to transform whenever the mood struck him, he couldn't zoom around the country comfortably as a static blob, and he'd be defenseless if a trainer with Pokéballs came along and decided to try his luck at catching a glitch. Forging an impromptu partnership was pointless, stupid, dangerous…

On the other hand, it'd be nice to have some company for a change.

"Sure, I'll help you out," he agreed without thinking, simultaneously cheering and kicking himself inside. It was an odd combination, but he put it aside to grin lightly. Holly did not return the motion, instead choosing to shoot him an odd look.

"But… you're not a Trainer…" Missingno shrugged.

"Hey, just because I'm not a Trainer doesn't mean I can't take care of myself. I know a few tricks."

"I dunno'…" Holly seemed uncertain, and Missingno had to work to not scoff. Hadn't she ever heard, 'beggars can't be choosers'? Still, his mouth kept involuntarily going off, like some form of human sprinkler. He realized, with a hint of shock, that his human emotions were overpowering his logical side. No point in being subtle about it—his human form was attracted to this specimen, and, it being a far more complex breed than the usual Pokémon and him being unadjusted to it, its instincts were stronger than his thoughts. Frankly, being a human was like trying to fight off a bad heroin addiction when it came to its thoughts and desires. As such, he kept obediently following his human wants the more he tried to hold up a conversation. This could be bad.

"Perhaps this could work out for both of us," Missingno hinted. "You see, it turns out I was just planning to start off on my own Pokémon journey, so maybe we could help each other. That's why I was at Professor Oak's lab, you know. To get a starter. Yep." Wait, what? First of all, he _detested _Trainers. Second, the thought of forcing fellow Pokémon to fight for their master was unnerving. Thirdly, he doubted the good Professor would be so kind to give away a starter to a strange monster that would more likely than not _eat_ it…

And then suddenly, emanating from the southern edge of town like a siren, there came a frustrated cry. Holly and Missingno looked first to each other, then to a pair of young boys gathered near the straight to Cinnabar Island, who appeared to have let off the yell. The debate between their allegiance was temporarily forgotten, and the pair darted over to the source of the commotion without a word spoken between them. Missingno, being the faster of the two despite being unaccustomed to his body, got there first, then drew back in surprise.

One of the boys was wearing a brown cap twisted sideways above a pointy shock of red hair, a red hoodie, and oversized jeans. His brown eyes were narrowed in frustration, and he held up a fist, apparently being the one who had yelled.

His friend had dark purple hair (it's Pokémon, it can happen!) and blue eyes, as well as a yellow blazer, white tee, and purple pants. Unlike his fiery friend, he seemed more dejected and depressed than angry.

Between the two was a small Raichu (and by small, I mean it was up to their shoulders), which was looking nervously up at the redhead. Its tail twitched, and its eyes were all wobbly. Upon analysis, the Pokémon was revealed to be level thirty, and a recent evolution at that. Very recent. In fact…

"Ugh, why'd you go and do that?" the redhead growled, clutching fistfuls of hair in his little fists. "I wanted a _Pikachu_, not an ugly freak like you! You're not 'apposed to evolve! Eww, you're all orangey!"

"Aw, man," the blue one moaned. "What's Angela gonna' say…?" The Raichu, determined to please its young master, stammered an apology the stupid human couldn't translate—but Missingno could.

_I'm sorry_, it squeaked miserably, _it just felt like the right time. I couldn't help it_!

"Rairairairai_ shut up_," the redhead mocked sarcastically. "Even your voice is all wrong."

"Relax, Ian, let's just go find another one," the blue one sighed.

"I don't _want_ another one!" Ian yelled back at him. "I want my Pikachu back!" He stomped his foot for emphasis, and Missingno decided he'd had enough. Wasn't keeping them in those little balls enough for these hoodlums? Did they really have to try and control their evolutions, too?

"Hey, you two cut that out!" Missingno called, running up until he was within a yard of the pair. They looked up at him suspiciously, confused at the interruption, and for a moment Missingno was convinced they could see right through his disguise. Then the dreaded Pokéball would be thrown, and before he knew it he'd be just another toy to a brat with a temper. Try as he might, Missingno could imagine no worse fate, but he still stood his ground, and lo, he remained unidentified.

"What's up, techno-geek?" the redhead taunted, stepping forward so they were eye-to-shoulder blade. "You got somethin' to say?" Missingno glared right back. All it would take was one quick change into a Dragonite, and he could swallow this shrimp whole. Tempting… but then he remembered Holly standing eagerly on the sidelines, and the chaos that would ensue anyways if any one of the three humans in the gathering found out about his abilities.

Missingno growled under his breath. Damn it. Looks like he was going to have to do this the old-fashioned way. He took a deep breath, then squared his shoulders and spoke.

"Yes, I do have something to say, and that's that you might to reconsider picking on that Raichu. It's not its fault it evolved—it just felt ready. So stop thinking you can play God with nature and go back to playing with your Game Boys before things get ugly." There was a long silence, and then Ian began to snicker. Quickly, though, this was lost to great bales of laughter, and soon both he and his friend were pointing and laughing at Missingno.

"Ooh, the big dork in the pansy shirt is going to make things ugly now, is he?" Ian choked out mockingly. "Thinks he can tell Trainers what to do with their Pokémon, eh? You don't even _have_ any Pokémon, genius, unless you keep your Pokéballs up your butt."

"Maybe he likes 'em up there," the blue one suggested coyly.

"Ha! Good one, Derek!" The two high-fived as Missingno employed a silent facepalm. Surely humans weren't this immature? Apparently, some were, and Missingno sighed.

"Whatever. Don't say I didn't warn you." Missingno dived forward, snatched the Raichu, then fell into a deft somersault and stood up again on the other side of the children. Ian and Derek, too preoccupied with high-fiving, didn't notice the maneuver, and could only stare in shock as the strange new boy somehow ended up switching sides on them, now holding the Raichu in a comforting grip. It wasn't long, however, before Ian's shocked expression melted into one of fury.

"Hey, that's mine! You can't have it!" he cried, then reached onto his belt and plucked out a Pokéball. "I'll show you! Raichu, _return_!" A fast pink light shot out of the ball, but Missingno was faster. He dodged the beam with ease, still holding the Raichu in his arms like some sort of trophy. The poor Pokémon didn't know what to think, and kept looking around nervously, but Missingno had bigger problems on his hands just then.

"You… you're…" Ian stammered, then recovered and yanked out a Pokéball. Behind him, his friend did the same. "That's it! Go, Ratticate!"

"Go, Bulbasaur!" Derek cried. Instantly, the two Pokémon appeared before Missingno, baring their teeth and growling viciously. From behind them, Ian smirked, confident that he was about to hand this nerd his ass. Of course, Missingno was hiding a smile, himself, behind a carefully neutral poker face.

Missingno may not have been the sharpest crayon in the box when it came to things that weren't directly related to glitches, and he certainly wasn't going to win any awards for charisma, but there was one thing he was good at and enjoyed immensely—fighting. Being a one-of-kind ultra-rare all-powerful rare-candy-duplicating awesome-sauce let's-go-catch-it-right-now Pokémon, he was obligated to. Even when he couldn't rely on his transforming prowess or glitch effects or even normal attacks for protection, he could doubtlessly take on a level 15 Bulbasaur and level 20 Ratticate while in a human disguise. Heck, one good punch backed with level 80 muscle would do wonders towards sending these pests flying. Missingno knew this, even reveled in it, but took the time out to hold up two hands in the universal sign language for 'woah now', as if he were being presented with a challenge.

"Hey, hey, hey. I don't have any Pokémon. Don't you think you're being a little… what's the word… unfair?" Suddenly, with a familiar pink burst, Missingno became aware of a little green and yellow dog… thing flaring into existence to his right. In fact, that 'flaring' line wasn't even a metaphor. The thing's back literally burst into flames out of four yellow spouts. Truly, this was no Pokémon of Kanto, and Missingno rushed to gather its data.

Its name was Cyndaquil, its level was 12, and its Trainer was Holly. Sure enough, as Missingno looked up, he was not surprised to see his new teammate (_teammate… what an odd term…)_ standing at his side and glaring meanly at their opponents.

"For shame! You guys are an embarrassment to Trainers everywhere, siccing your little minions on defenseless civilians!" she decreed, her voice forcibly authoritative and naturally corny as she fell under Missingno's partially intended illusion of helplessness. It seems he had overestimated the human's need for bravado. Then she turned to Missingno, and her expression softened. "Well, it's not the ideal choice for a starting battle, but what do you say we tag-team a bit and show these guys how to properly treat your Pokémon?" Missingno raised an eyebrow.

"What, were you thinking about candy while we were talking, Holly? I don't have a Pokémon." Holly just smiled.

"Oh really? Look down." Missingno did as he was told, and was surprised to see the Raichu he has rescued was now standing in front of his feet, glaring at its previous master. Apparently, it wasn't too fond of being hated just for evolving, and had turncoated while the group was chatting. Missingno looked down at it, and felt contradicting emotions of both gratification and horror. There didn't seem to be a way out of fighting shy of revealing his nature, but to really use a fellow Pokémon in such a violent manner…? It made him sick.

Below him, the Raichu sensed his hesitation and began to speak, which Missingno effortlessly translated.

"_Rai, rai raichu raichu chu rai rai rai. Rai raichu?" _it spoke, which translated to, _Look, I don't know what you are, but even I'm willing to put aside my pride for a battle. How about you? _Short and simple, but effective. The others seemed more than ready to clash it out. It was only their masked companion that was uncertain, and now he didn't even have a good reason. If the Raichu wanted to fight, well, why not let them eat cake, as the saying went? Forfeiting would solve nothing. On the other hand…

"…I can't—" Missingno began, but was cut off by the Raichu 'chu'ing loudly and running back into the battlefield. Missingno sweatdropped. "W-wait, I—"

"Oh, are we starting now?" Ian asked, putting aside his magazine to get back into the fight and unintentionally cutting off the poor glitch again.

"Yes!" Holly cried, fist clenched. "And we'll show you, because we're—"

"Okay, you're boring me," Ian interrupted. "Ratticate, use Hyper Fang!" And thus, the unlikely foursome were thrust into battle.

**_-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --_**

**_To be continued! Epically!_**


	3. Family Ties

**_-Ahem- Good evening. My name is Psycho Director, and I come bearing the third chapter of this fanfiction. After a fe wmoments of trials and tribulations, this fanfic has, I felt, finally started to get into a steady feel of emotion and writing style, and we can all now rest easy, knowing that the awkward introductions are out of the way, more or less, and we can now get to the 'real' story of GitS. _**

**_Hee hee... gits._**

**_But now, I, the writer, do have one request to ask of you. Relax, it doesn't involve effort. What it is is that, in an attempt to try and promote the most audiance interaction, I have put a poll up on my account regarding characters. It is currently in the midst of a four-way tie. All I ask is for you, humble readers, to take one minute off to cast a vote for who you'd want to see in GitS based off a wide variety of answers. Red and Blue? Ash, Misty, and Brock? Team Rocket? Mew? I can see your mind already deciding between those listed examples. You're thinking, even now, 'which one of these do I like best?'. I know this, and I ask you only to take this decision and apply it to my poll of win and awesome, to help not only prove that your choice is the best, but to curve the very DESTINY of GitS to your dark and evil fan desires. _**

**_Also, chicks dig voters._**

**_With that in mind, here is Chapter 3._**

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Missingno had not been prepared for this.

With fangs thrust forward, the Ratticate lunged for Raichu, but the electric Pokémon was faster. It swung out of the way, sliding onto all four paws and whipping around to face the grungy rat. Immediately, the Ratticate flipped around and tried to bite its enemy, who managed to dodge again—barely. The Raichu took the time to shoot its unmoving 'Trainer' a dirty look—_do something, you quack_!—then took off running down the battlefield.

On the other side of the field, Ian was firing rapid orders at his Pokémon as if there was no tomorrow. The Ratticate obeyed them to the letter, mindlessly deploying move after move that Missingno numbly identified. Tackle, Hyper Fang, Tail Whip… Raichu took a heavy blow and slammed onto the ground, then bounced back to its feet. Missingno winced, opened his mouth to bark out a retaliation move, then closed it again. No! He couldn't just stand there and order a fellow Pokémon to fight for him! Where was the honor in that?! This wasn't right! This was…

"Do _something_!" Holly suddenly yelled from his side, snapping Missingno out of his reverie. He shot her an incredulous look, eyes wide, then back to the rapidly-losing Raichu, then back to her, silently trying to convey his utter repulsion at this madness. She just glared at him. "Look, I know you're new at this, but your Raichu is getting hurt out there! Like it or not, you have to fight that Ratticate off, because Raichu can't do it without you!" Missingno looked back, mind hopelessly indecisive.

Raichu took a vicious bite to the shoulder, then fell to the ground, shuddering. It didn't have time to get up, though, before the other Pokémon's Trainer ordered it to use Tail Whip. The Ratticate snickered, then turned and snapped its rope-like tail against Raichu's spine. Raichu squealed, collapsing again. From there, it could only shiver and squeak as the Ratticate mercilessly pummeled on it with its tail.

"Hey! _Hey_, you, wake up!" Holly cried desperately in-between ordering her own Cindequail around.

_She doesn't know my name, _Missingno realized dimly, even as he watched Raichu. His teeth gritted, and sweat beaded down the side of his head. He couldn't do this. He _wouldn't_. But…

"_R-Raichu_!" he choked out. The Pokémon looked up at him, eyes dim. Its HP was quite low, and Missingno knew what he had to do, much as he hated it. "Use… use a Thunderbolt!" He winced at the words—what was so different between 'use a Thunderbolt' and orders like 'go make me a sammich' that entitled a Trainer's right to enslave Pokémon?

Then a great bolt of lightning struck out from the arena, and from it came a rat-like screech. For a second Missingno panicked, certain that somehow he'd said the wrong thing and made Raichu electrocute itself… but, of course, that was impossible. The screech had come from the Ratticate, which was currently stumbling about the field like a drunkard. Raichu, meanwhile, rose shakily to its feet, glaring daggers at its opponent.

_They really can't fight for themselves without commands,_ Missingno realized suddenly. _Without a Trainer, they're helpless. Is this what sets me apart from them? _Then Missingno realized Raichu needed another command. So, swallowing his pride and distaste in one lump, he gave one.

"Now use—" he took a half-second off to scan Raichu's data "—Quick Attack, before it recovers!" Raichu nodded with a light 'chu', then bolted forward on all fours, streaming a silver beam behind it as it gained speed. The Ratticate didn't even have time to turn around before it slammed in the back by Raichu's lowered skull. It cried out—'gahak!'—then flew and tumbled forward a good three yards before coming to rest.

"Wh-what!?" Ian cried in disbelief. "Pikachu could never go that fast before!" Holly took over then to smirk and wag a finger.

"Evolution 101, kiddo. A Pokémon's stats are always boosted after evolution, and sometimes they can even get a new move or two. Nice recovery, by the way." This was aimed at Missingno, but he was in no condition to reply, eyes locked on the fight.

"Now, Raichu, use Tackle!" he gambled. Raichu (no longer 'the' Raichu) obeyed, sprinting forward at a pace remarkably slower than the one of the Quick Attack. Ian noticed, and growled in frustration.

"No way! Ratticate, intercept with a Bite attack!" The Ratticate sprang instantly to its feet, opening its massive jaw wide for the sprinting Raichu. Raichu cried out in surprise, then immediately attempted to stop, but it was no use, it was to close, too fast… Missingno bit his lip, gears in his mind turning… Just a bit closer, now… Not yet… Closer… Now!

"Jump!" Raichu, bless its little heart, sprang into the air without objection, narrowly escaping the clamping maw. The Ratticate, however, was not so lucky, as its teeth slammed against each other with painful force, meatless and fruitless, to use a pun. Raichu sailed over its head, and was directly above it when Missingno spoke again.

"Now use Thunder!"

The area around the rookies seemed to get suddenly darker as Raichu gathered electricity around itself in a glowing aura. This was its most powerful move; an impressive sort of thing that was partially show, entirely deadly. Missingno watched the glowing Pokémon as it drifted back to the ground, its eyes flaring yellow as the electromagnetic pulses slowed its decent. The Ratticate, too, seemed hypnotized by the pretty lights, as it stared at Raichu with wide eyes.

_KAKAKKARACKBOOM._

In one brilliant burst of electric light, the Ratticate was rendered into not much more than a wide-eyed black outline, smoking slightly as the last of the static blast shot through its twitching system. It jerked a bit, weakly stuttering its name, then collapsed into a charcoal heap on the ground, out cold.

"Rai_chu_!" Raichu cheered, holding one triumphant fist into the air at the victory. Ian just stared at his Ratticate in shock, too surprised to say a word. Missingno sank to his knees, stuck between relief and horror, then snuck a glance at Holly. She was holding Cindiquail, jumping up and down, and laughing in front of a defeated Derek. Missingno, too enraptured in his own battle, had missed hers, and his human side felt a pang of regret. That could wait, however, as he forced himself to his feet and ran over to Raichu.

"Aw, man, I'm so sorry!" he cried, taking in Raichu's bruises with wide eyes. "I didn't mean to… I tried… I never meant for you to get hurt, I'm just… Ugh, this is all my fault… I'm sorry, I just meant…"

"Raichu rai…"

"No, it's _not_ okay, I'm a terrible person, I should have…"

"_Rai_chu rai."

"…I never wanted you to get involved, I just thought… with Holly… I'm sorry, I'm just so—"

_SMACK._

With a precise crack of its long tail, Raichu abruptly ended Missingno's self-depreciative rant the only way it knew—by smackin' some bitches. As it was, the force was enough to make Missingno fall onto his backside, rubbing a red, stinging cheek and staring at the electric Pokémon in surprise.

"_Now, you listen to me,_" Raichu squeaked at the fallen glitch, speaking in a way that only it and he could understand—in short, a rapid series of the word 'Raichu'. "_I don't know what your malfunction is, weird-smelling human-like thing, but I _wanted_ to fight those guys. It's fun times. I go out and kick some ass, and you make sure I don't die in the process. That's how it _works_, and I will not have you drag the rest of this merry bunch down just because you're worried someone'll get a boo-boo. Like it or not, you're stuck with us, so you might as well swallow your PETA membership and get with the program if you want to not die on the way to Vermillion. We clear?"_ There was a long, thoughtful silence, then Missingno sighed and took Raichu's paw, shifting into a level crouch as he did.

"Sure. We're peachy."

"—And I'd better not see you two acting that way towards innocent Pokémon again, or we'll be just as quick to show you up. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just get going on your stupid Pokémon journey, ya' bunch of tree-huggers. And take that stupid rat with you."

Missingno and Raichu lifted their heads, only to see their third party member dutifully wrapping up the last threads of their battle. She wagged a strict finger at Derek and Ian, the former of which was rubbing his arm and scuffing his shoe guiltily and the latter of which had his arms crossed and was pouting sourly. Both of them had recalled their Pokémon.

The pair watched Holly tell off the pair with similar looks, and then Raichu let out a low, squeaky whistle.

"_She's something, ain't she? For a human, I mean,_" it crooned. Missingno shot it a dirty look, switching naturally into its own language.

"Rai Raichu Raichu," he spat. "_Back off, rat." _At this Raichu laughed, as if it had heard something utterly hilarious.

"_What? Don't tell me you think _you've_ got a chance, Pixels. If my nose knows anything, you're not _human._" _he noted coyly. Missingno opened his mouth to grunt a reply, closed it thoughtfully, then trained his eyes to the ground in defeat.

"And what about you? You're not even human_oid_."

"_True. But at least I'm supposed to exist." _Missingno couldn't argue on that one. He scowled at the reminder, eyes dark, then began to trudge to where Holly stood. Raichu noticed, and its victorious smile melted into a concerned frown.

"_Pixels?_" it asked Missingno's retreating form, taking a cautious step forward and holding out a tentative paw. "_Pixels, I didn't mean… It wasn't like…" _But Missingno ignored it, and it settled into crossing its paws and pouting. "_Fine. Over-sensitive jerk." _

Up ahead, Holly had finished telling off the troublesome pair and sent them, grumbling, on their way home when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She blinked, then turned around to see Missingno standing behind her, looking a little like a guilty kid who had just been put in time-out.

"Oh, hey," she greeted. "What's got you down?" Missingno flinched, looking taken aback for a moment, then suddenly grinned as wide as he could.

"Me? Oh, nothing! Nothing at all!" he said in an obviously fake voice. Still, Holly gave him points for trying, and let it slide with nothing more than a raised eyebrow.

"Okay…" she muttered. Missingno noticed her hesitance, though, and let his grin sink into a natural frown.

"…Look, can we just keep going?" he asked. "Er, please?" Holly smiled, but her eyes were concerned.

"Well, sure. We can stop in Viridian for supplies." Then, as if it had just occurred to her, "By the way, you never told me your name." She held out a hand. "If we're going to be in this together, we should get to know each other a bit better."

"My… name?" Missingno repeated, as if the very idea were foreign to him. Holly nodded patiently, hand still out, and Missingno sifted desperately through his data for a title other than 'Missingno'. For a terrifying moment he came up blank, but then, from some dark recess of his memory, he recalled a title almost as familiar. With this in mind, he gripped Holly's hand firmly, smiling with confidence.

"Alex. My name's Alex Parker."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

With a rough motion, Gyrados plowed through the water, working along the coastline with rhythmic strokes of his powerful tail. His nose dipped up and down, roughly level with the water's surface, and his slanted eyes were set in a determined glare.

Ten yards ahead, feet swinging casually in the empty air, a young boy of about seven or eight sat atop an outcropping of bleached rocks, a flimsy fishing pole in his hands. He whistled a merry tune as he watched the hook, eagerly waiting for it to dip under. Beside him, clustered together in a large crack between stones, a clutch of Pokéballs were ready and waiting for the next Pokémon to take the bait.

Five yards separated child and Pokémon now. Gyrados slowed his mighty gait down to a smooth glide, barely rippling the water as he slithered closer. His pale stomach nearly touched the rocky floor as he approached Cinnabar's coast, and his beady eyes glittered viciously as he continued his path.

Up ahead, the boy switched to humming, looking away from the bait to reach back into the light pack he kept by his side. From this he procured a single rice ball, which he held with one hand as he brushed his brown hair out of his eyes, his pole nestled snugly between his knees. He bit into the triangular treat, then held it there as he switched to a position where he could hold his pole with one hand and the rice ball with the other. He took up doing both immediately, and was soon back to being fixated on the water.

Suddenly, with a mighty heave of his tail and a dynamic splash, the Gyrados hurled his enormous front body from the water, opening his jaw and exposing rows of razor-sharp teeth as he lunged for the rocky outcropping and its distracted tenant, shooting forward like a living missile as his eyes gleamed hungrily—

"You're late." The Gyrados stopped in mid-lunge, mouth left comically wide as he watched the boy. The water he had dredged forth hit the rocks and fell back to the ocean in a harmless shower, never so much as touching the small human at the top of the pile. All sense of dramatics ended abruptly, and the coastline was quiet as the boy slowly put aside his pole and took another leisurely bite of his rice ball.

"Contrary to my appearance," the boy continued calmly, "I am not here to play games with you, and you're not nearly experienced enough to sneak up on me. So enough with the theatrics, if you will."

"_O-of course_," Gyrados noted nervously, already embarrassed at his attempt to sneak up on this particular child. "_No more theatrics, I swear._" He attempted to smile—an expression that, unadjusted to his type of face, looked more like a pained scowl. Then he noticed the rod and Pokéballs.

"…_Fishing? Really?" _The boy shrugged nonchalantly, effortlessly translating Gyrados's snorts and growls.

"It's not like there's anything better to do on this God forsaken island. I already caught three Magikarp. Perhaps I'll make a stew." He grinned sharply, eyes sparkling with sadistic mirth. Gyrados noticed, and snorted a few droplets of water out his nostrils—a sign of disgust.

"_You're as sick as the humans._" The boy just chuckled.

"We all have to eat, Splashy. Just because I don't feel all icky inside afterwards doesn't mean I'm any worse than any other carnivore." Gyrados nearly snorted again. Of course, it wasn't eating Pokémon that bothered him about this boy. He ate enough of them to repopulate a planet. However, he ate them to survive—this boy, he thrived off of watching them suffer. He had no respect in him.

And Gyrados was the one that had to give him bad news. No wonder he had attempted to eat him beforehand.

As if reading his mind, the boy abruptly turned around to face him, wearing an expression far too hard for such a young face.

"But enough chit-chat," he spoke impatiently, waving a tiny hand. Gyrados felt his forehead grow cold as nervousness crept in. He knew what this boy wanted. Worse, he knew he didn't have it. "I told you how to kill Missingno. I've been waiting, and now I want to know: did you succeed? Is Missingno dead?" Silence. Gyrados's forehead felt practically frozen, his eyes darted about, and he struggled to find what to say.

"_W-well, we had it cornered, and we did just like you said. It was… _near _death, like very, very near death, and it started begging us to spare its life—it was, um, _sobbing_ and stuff, really pitiful…"_

"_Please_ tell me you didn't let it go because you felt_ bad_ for it," the boy groaned, laying down onto his side and propping his head up with an arm as he did. This story was boring him. Gyrados, eyes wide, hurried to complete it before his boss lost full interest.

"_I-it tricked us! It stole a move from one of us, a-and… It used two moves at once! That shouldn't even be _possible_!"_ Gyrados gasped for air, caught somewhere between fear and rage, but halted as if paralyzed when the boy laid a pudgy hand against his scaly head. Slowly, frightfully, its golden eyes panned to the human figure that sat, smiling warmly, beside him.

"Hey, hey," the boy shrugged, a rare reassuring smile easing onto his face, "it's alright. We all make mistakes. No worries." Gyrados did a quick double-take—did he just say _'no worries'?_—then slowly relaxed and let out a nervous laugh that sounded more like a roar.

_"Y-yeah… We were just taken by surprise, that's all. We just need one more chance, and we can make sure you're the only—"_ And then, all of a sudden, Gyrados was aware that the hand on his head had tightened. His eyes widened, irises narrowed into shocked slits, and his head turned to look pleadingly at the smiling child.

"Sorry, Splashy," the boy replied, smiling even more widely. "I don't give second chances." Gyrados flinched.

_"B-but—_Wait_! I can change! I can—"_ But it was too late. Pure white sparks raced down the boy's arm, shooting straight into the Pokémon's hardened skin. Gyrados didn't even have a chance to scream before its body was rendered, for one bright moment, into a static-colored silhouette of itself, and then the entire entity dissolved into minute squares of data. These flung upwards like shattered glass, then twirled a bit and vanished. In a matter of seconds, Gyrados was gone, and the boy was alone.

There was a lengthy silence while the boy patiently waited for the last vibrant sparks on his arm to die, and then he giggled and stood up on top of the rocks, shouldering his backpack as he did. He put up a hand against his brow to shade his eyes, then stared seawards.

"Well," he said to no one in particular, "looks like you won the first round. Now I've lost you, and had to give up a perfectly good Gyrados to boot. But, no matter. The game has only just begun, and I still have most of the cards. Rest assured, I will find you, and I will kill you, before it's over." The boy's soft grin widened a bit more, exposing white teeth and rather sharp canines. The movement was appropriately, subtly vicious.

"_Big brother_."

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**_To be continued!_**

**_Brownie points go to whoever can correctly identify the mysterious character featured above, by the way. There are various hints scattered about the chapter, and those of you who frequent Cinnibar Island's coast may have a pretty good idea. This should prove interesting._**

**_Also, Mysterious Character is not Missingno's (who was he was referencing towards the end, by the by) REAL little brother, at least not by birth. That's another hint._**

**_And finally, every time you read a chapter of GitS and don't review, Mysterious Character gets to eat a Magikarp stew, and the Magikarp sales guy loses business. Yes, even rereading one. We're just that evil._**


End file.
